So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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