hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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