I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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