: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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