We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
