So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
