Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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