Whod you bang
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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