gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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