oh god the rape fog is back!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
