On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
