dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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