the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
