you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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