she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
third nipple confirmed
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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