did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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