Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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