Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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