He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
