i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
