i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
