he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
