He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
