Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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