I smell stomach acid.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
