Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
