his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
