Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
