p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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