My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
