whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
