Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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