I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
