Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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