I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
