oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
