coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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