Apparently you make a good broom.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
tell me about the eggs
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
