are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
