Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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