I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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