Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize