You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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