sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
