He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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