i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
