either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
