Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
