I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
