I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize