Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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