Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
