We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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