let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize