The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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