This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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