I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
"it" just moved
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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