I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
All I want is dick and wine.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
