why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
