so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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