I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
