As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
