Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
