She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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