it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
