Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
