Your mouth is God's brothel.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
birth control should be required to get into college
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
