I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
