I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
