My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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