New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
