Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize